Hello, welcome to the Keto Mom page, my name is Stephanie. And we're going through this book together called Mind Shift by Erwin McManus,
MIND SHIFT: IT'S ALL ABOUT PEOPLE
Over the last two years, I've made a mind shift. This will help you understand the importance of your mindset and how important it is to think right in order to achieve your goals. So, we started this book yesterday, and we will continue to go through the book, one chapter at a time. I will not read the book entirely to you, but I will take out a couple thoughts to help you get through your day, to give you something to think about.
RECAP: The beginning of the book...
"The journey begins in your mind, and the battle is fought and either lost or won in your mind".
Erwin McManus is going to take you on this journey to help you understand how important it is that your mindset is really focused and moving in the right direction. Here on the Keto Mom page, I work on correlating everything that we read into your fat loss journey.
How can we take this mind shift and apply it to your health journey, help you lose weight, or help you get healthy? You can actually also apply it to your relationships, your marriage, parenting, your work environment, spiritually, or whatever journey that you're on.
"Nothing else matters. The longer you live the more you realize that it's inevitable that you will lose things. We all lose socks, where do they go? You put a pair of socks in the dryer and then it disappears. We lose things. If you don't know what really matters, we will spend our lives accumulating the very things that do not matter".
Oftentimes we're so obsessed with things. Our family has gone through it. There are phases in our lives that we move into if we are working on our mindset, and focus on being the best version of ourselves. As kids, we want things, and when we grow into our teenage years, we still want things. But hopefully, we're learning the power of relationships somewhere along the line of adulthood. Hopefully, we realize that it's not things or experiences that make us happy or brings us joy, but it's the power of relationships in our lives.
"The best way to lose your life and look back with regret is to never mature past the mindset that life is all about things."
I've actually experienced this in my life. I looked back in my younger parenting stages wanting to accumulate stuff. I think about clothes, shoes, and things like watches or jewelry.
"Eventually, hopefully, most of us transition into the second stage of development, past the things and onto people. For people in this stage life is no longer about things, but it's about experiences. But eventually, you get to the point where you grasp that life is about people. When we make people our highest priority, this shift becomes the best measurable maturity, wholeness and health you can ever experience".
"If you want to be the best version of you, then you've got a type "A" personality, or at least you act like you do. You are driven, you are focused on your goals, you're ambitious, you've got dreams, you are relentless in your pursuit of excellence and achieving personal growth and greatness. You may even struggle with feeling that people hold you back or slow you down. If any of these resonate with you, you need to be consciously aware of the fact that when you are focused on your goals, sometimes you quickly lose focus on the people in your life".
PEOPLE AROUND YOU
So one of the biggest things I was thinking about on the Keto Mom page and in the business that we're in, is that people send me messages saying that they feel like they can't hit their goals, they're frustrated with their family, their kids don't support them, or their spouses don't support them. It's easy to focus on the goals you want to go after and then get frustrated with the people around you because they don't see it how you see it.
So then it's easy to say, "Well, it's their fault I'm not hitting my goals. It's not my fault".
How many parents blame their kids?
How many spouses blame the other spouse?
How many friends blame their friends?
Because it's their fault they're constantly bringing me doughnuts, but do any of these people physically take the food and put it in your mouth? Isn't it funny how we can easily blame other people because we're so fixated and so focused on the goal that we want to hit that it's never our fault? It's usually somebody else's.
"When we're so focused and so driven, oftentimes relationships get out of focus".
And then what do we do? We ruin them! We yell at our kids or our spouses. We don't take responsibility! If you've got goals in your health journey, while it's nice to have somebody that supports you, it's nobody else's fault, but yourself. And that might be a hard truth to swallow. You should never put your goal above your relationships, especially if you're married and have kids. You need to have responsibility for your own actions.
"Oftentimes, so many people put relationships on the back burner to achieve their goals. And the end result is they lose the relationship. No one succeeds on their own".
So maybe you don't feel fully supported on your health journey, but it boils down to conversations and not biting back and getting frustrated. You just need to own it, just support each other where you're at. Do not lose focus on relationships, but focus on both. You can do it with communication.
"What does this shift look like practically. It's choosing to be kind. It's tipping well the person that serves you. It's taking time to acknowledge the people around you and remember their names. It's speaking well of people when they are not in the room with you. It's remembering, who helped you when you needed help, and then returning the favor. It's making time for friendships, it's refusing to have the mentality that it's not personal, it's just business. It's making sure it's always personal, you're always listening, you're being present. It's seeing life through the template of relationships, not things are not just your own focus, and you'll grab the relationships later".
So many people go through divorce, because one of the spouses chose the business before the marriage or chose the business before the kids. So many people lose their children because they were trying to achieve things and experiences or that wrong focus, and they left everybody else behind.
"When you finally understand that life is about people, everything else in your life changes. Never choose things or experiences over relationships, life is richer with good people in your life. Being surrounded by good people might not be easy, but you actually need a good environment of people".
It takes time to find that, but what's great is you can find a really good group of people online. I'm not saying that's the only way you should meet with people, because I we can easily hide behind our computers. It's important to find relationships in your local area too. The point is it starts with you.
I want you to be kind
I want you to be loving
I want you to forgive
I want you to put relationships up here
If you feel that you're not supported by the people around you, then have some good conversations. Sit your family down, talk to your kids and share with them your goals that you're going after.
"Just sum it up because many people will come in and out of your life".
I actually think this is super powerful because we've experienced this a lot with our business. We've moved a lot, and I can tell if the relationships were true friendships because we still talk to those people even if we don't live in the same states.
"Many people will come in and out of your life, who are actually not your people. It's not that they don't have values are importance to your journey. It's simply not the people who will travel with you, to the very end. You may be seasoned in some people's lives, and guess what, it's completely fine. There will be hard choices to make along the journey. If you choose a life of continuous progress, you will lose more people in your life and you have to keep going".
THE BUS OF LIFE
Think of your life like you're driving a bus. Everybody has their own buses, and there are people that come on your bus for your entire lifetime, hopefully your family. There are people that come into your bus for a very short period of time, and then they get off your bus. There are people that will come onto your bus or your life, it could be for years, and then they get off at the next stop.
As you're pursuing better, it's great to have focus. You want to have goals and you want to pursue things, but you also have to understand that relationships must come first.
"Life is about relationships, even when you have all the passions you desire, and all the experiences, even great adventures, broken relationships will never steal the joy from it all. The greatest mistake you will ever make will not cost you money. It will cost you people".
The point of this book is to bring you awareness on how to become a better version of yourself and at the same time take people with you. This is something that I've addressed even in business. We are surrounded by incredible people in our business. But one of the things that I see, especially in marriages, is when one person decides to grow and have self development, but the other person doesn't want to do it, people bring up divorce so quickly. That's the last thing you should do. What you need to do, as you're pursuing your goals and dreams, is talk to your spouse and family, talk to the people that matter to you.
One of the biggest things we can learn and I have to learn this daily because I am not perfect, is to watch my tongue. Sometimes people don't need to hear what you think. You can be kind, and you can let some things sort itself out. You don't have to cut people down, or be the bearer of bad news. I'm going to say it one more time, "The greatest mistake you will ever make will not cost you money, it will cost you people". Some of you might think that you've made mistakes and it did cost you a lot of money. We have made lots of mistakes, and we have lost a lot of money. But I could put all of that aside and wouldn't care one bit for all that money. If I were to lose a child, my husband, or even my sister that would ruin me. So the greatest mistake you will ever make will not cost you money, it will cost you people.
WITH A GRATEFUL HEART
I would say I'm thankful for my husband and my four amazing girls. We have some incredible friends and I'm so thankful for our mentors. We don't talk to them often, but whenever we need something, they're there for us. I'm thankful for all of our friends in Minnesota. And I'm thankful for our CEO in Kentucky who has taught us more in our life and business. He believed in us when nobody else did. I'm thankful for the opportunity that we get to go spend time with him very soon. I'm thankful for all of our friends in Florida. I have my sisters and my family. I'm thankful I've got great people in my life.
Every morning, you should get up. Thank the Lord for the people in your life and let them know you're thankful for them. So thank you for tuning in. Your presence matters. I hope you have a wonderful morning or afternoon and we'll talk to you soon. Have a good day!
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