"Motivation and willpower are only both limited resources that you will deplete quickly. Behavior modification does not equip you with the power to change". ~ Craig GroeschelSTEPHANIE: Welcome to the Keto Mom page, my name is Stephanie and this is my amazing husband, Steve. We're currently in Florida, and we're here for business.
We normally do morning live videos, and we want to work on your mindset. We're going through the book called "The Power To Change" by Craig Groeschel, and we're going to take it piece by piece.
The book will give you an action step, and if you're following along, we started a couple of days ago. At any point in time, if you missed it, you can go to ketomomsecrets.com, and click on Book Club. You can watch all the books we've done for the last two years.
This book is incredible, and we're going through it piece by piece.
CHAPTER 1.2: STAGNATION THROUGH BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
STEVE: Alright! So today's chapter is called "Stagnation Through Behavior Modification". How many of you have ever tried to do something over and over again, and you try to power it through?
Here are some fun examples...
I'm going to start reading my Bible every day.
I'm going to stop watching so much TV. I'm breaking up with my boyfriend for real this time.
I will not yell at my kids anymore.
I'm going to quit smoking.
I'm going to stop hitting the snooze button so I can start getting to my work five minutes earlier instead of five minutes later.
Stephanie, why do we make these declarations and then fail to follow them?
STEPHANIE: Alright!
"Have you ever found yourself making an excuse? Why do we make these declarations and then fail to follow through? Could it be that we've tried to change what we do and we haven't changed what we think of ourselves"
That's what the book is about, it's about your identity. It's about what you think of yourself. If you keep trying to eat healthier, not hit the snooze button, not yell at your kids, not spend so much money, go to the gym, or whatever it is, but it's not working and you're doing it over and over again. We're diving into the modification of you, and not just modifying a behavior.
STEVE: Remember, you do what you do because of what you think of yourself. And so this book is really focusing on "The Who" before "The Do".
STEPHANIE:
"This is a formula for failure. We cannot put 'Do' before 'Who', but we do. We do it all the time, and we decide to change what we do. So the problem in trying to change what we do is called 'Behavior Modification', and behavior modification doesn't work".
It's super interesting because we've gone through a book called Atomic Habits when this book wasn't out yet. And I realized Pastor Craig actually quoted the book, Atomic Habits by James clear. I think often, a majority of books helping you switch your habits focus on the "Do", and there is a lot of mindset in them too. But I just love this book because it's really honing in on you. It's going to get to the root cause, pluck the roots out and make things work and stick.
STEVE: This is good. So if you target the behavior, you're going after the wrong thing. If it starts to sound redundant, it's because it's starting to make sense. So if you try to change your behavior without changing your identity, it's like pulling out a weed. You're not getting down to the root if you don't change what you're thinking.
How many of you have ever gone out and seen the dandelions all over your yard, and you start pulling the yellow things off but you don't pull out the roots, then that dandelion is going to come right back in full force.
STEPHANIE: If your goal is to eat healthier, and you're only focusing on the Keto Recipes, getting up early, or going to the gym, but you actually don't even know what causes you to overeat, sleep in, or make excuses. That's the root. Why are you not doing those things? Why do you eat out of emotions? Why do you eat out of habit? Why are you eating when you're bored? This is just to bring awareness.
STEVE: We've talked about the habits that were starting and stopping. But what Stephanie is really trying to say is it's about getting to the point where you start to understand those underlying beliefs of why you say what you say, and why you think what you think.
STEPHANIE:
"Motivation and willpower are only both limited resources that you will deplete quickly. Behavior modification does not equip you with the power to change. The reason that you haven't experienced long-lasting change is that you've tried to alter what you do instead of changing how you think of yourself. It's hard to change your habits if you've never changed the underlying belief that lead you to your past behaviors".
STEVE: I got a fun story. So she's talking about willpower and how much willpower you have. If I would relate this to myself, it comes down to either going out to eat or a family get-together. I go there with a full focus...
"Stephanie I'm not going to eat the bread pudding".
"Stephanie, I'm not going to eat the dessert".
"Stephanie, I'm not going to eat the doughnuts".
"I'm not going to eat the birthday cake".
But what happens is, "I could probably just eat half of it, there's a tiny piece, and I can eat it"...
How many have ever been there? You keep saying you're going to change this or do that. But you run out of that willpower, and it eventually just fades away.
And then I would justify it like, "I can just intermittent fast tomorrow"... So our hope is that you start identifying some of those underlying beliefs, and we hope it brings awareness to the conversation that you're having in your mind.
STEPHANIE: So pastor Craig takes it to a scientific level and a biblical level. He talked about what the Bible said and what the scientists said. How they watch the brain, or even what God says in His word about the behaviors, your thought patterns, and renewing your mind.
STEVE: It's going to change your life. Go read Romans verses 1-2. It talks about transforming and renewing your mind. I think the biggest thing that I want to leave you all with would be to change what you do. You need to think about what you think of yourself first. It goes back to the whole "You do what you do, because of what you think of you".
STEPHANIE: The book is incredible and I would encourage you to get it because it's a very short read, and you can read the action steps. Our hope is that you take these little actions because if you actually put in the work, you can figure out the root cause and we're going to pluck the root out and start seeing some change.
STEVE: So we talked about starting and stopping, and today we need to write it down. Think about your day, the behaviors, and the modifications that you've attempted. Write down your thoughts and how it went when you actually tried to modify behavior.
The third principle is "You change what you do, you need to first change what you think of yourself". So Romans 1-2 says, "Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think", it is so powerful.
STEPHANIE: So Steve, I need you to explain the action step one more time because I didn't actually hear your action step.
STEVE: So the action step is to write down your behaviors and the things that you find yourself doing, thinking, and how you've actually attempted to modify, but due to willpower or whatever circumstance you've kind of just fallen short.
It's the same behaviors that you tried to modify for weeks, months, or years. It's the mountain that you just keep going around. So we just want you to write those behaviors down. And then next to it, write down what modifications you actually attempted.
STEPHANIE: I'm going to give you an example really quick. People say "Help me plan my meals", or "I need to prepare, so my week goes well". Especially for parents that have kids that are in sports or who are running around. So you get to a Sunday or Saturday, you're planning your meals, and then for whatever reason you didn't. You didn't prep, you didn't throw the food in the crock pot, and you decided instead of eating the food that you planned, you went through the drive-thru.
There's something that you want to change, but you've got to identify why you're going to the drive-thru, why you're not putting the food in the crock pot, and why you're grabbing the candy bar instead of a protein shake. Start identifying your actions and then figure out why you did this and what the root is.
STEPHANIE: All right! Thank you for being patient with us. We'll come back tomorrow morning and go through chapter 1.3.
We'll talk to you tomorrow, bye everybody!
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