"Why do we lack the power to live in the way that we want, and why do we often make so many irrational and self defeating decisions?. Why do we try so hard to change but end up doing the same things that we hate? We've got cross wires in our brain. Most people do it, and they've got to learn how to uncross and rewire it. The reason we make these poor decisions are because of how our brain works. So we need a solution that works with the way that we think". ~ Craig GroeschelHey everybody! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. My name is Stephanie, and we're going to talk about "Changing The Wires In Your Mind". And it's super interesting because at the beginning of the summer, our second daughter Emery was thrown off a horse. And this book talks about winning the war in your mind.
CHAPTER 4: "The Wires In Your Brain"
Why do you do the things that you do?
Why is it easy to do the same things?
It's all because you have actual pathways in your brain that makes it easier for you to make certain choices and make better choices.
So going back to my daughter, I'll share with you how I've actually seen and understood the neural pathways in our brain. That's what the author talks about in this book.
Every morning, my goal is to help you with your mindset. I feel that's way more important than giving you a recipe. I'm going to read you a thought to take throughout your day.
"Why do we lack the power to live in the way that we want, and why do we often make so many irrational and self-defeating decisions?"
Why do we go for the donut?
Why do we skip the gym?
Why do we make unhealthy choices?
Why do we make the other decisions?
It has to do with your neural pathways. And we've been learning a lot about that because our daughter who was thrown off a horse in June, has been working through her concussions and we have been working on healing her.
One of her doctors talked about her neural pathways and the different things that Emery does, every day and night before she goes to bed to retrain her brain and say certain things. It's like affirmations, there are things that she does every day to retrain her brain to think differently and not be afraid.
She's creating different neural pathways and it's been great to watch. It's interesting to hear this from a biblical perspective because this book is written by a pastor. And then we also have the scientific perspective of understanding people, the brain, and the actual neural pathways.
So I'm going to read some things to you and I hope that you can be encouraged and inspired to do something different in your life.
What are some things that you told yourself you were never going to do again, but end up doing it again?
"We have crossed wires in our brain. For example, when you decide to commit to stop arguing with your spouse, but then still end up arguing with your spouse or your kids. I worry nonstop even though I know it's a waste of time, and it makes me sick".
"Exaggerating to impress other people, although that's not the kind of person that I am. I freak out about my credit card bill because it's so high, and it's because I buy unnecessary purchases. Why do we scroll through on our phones for hours instead of talking to our kids or our spouse? Why do we decide to lose weight one day and then find ourselves grabbing the soda, the candy bar, or anything at a gas station?"
Why do we do these things?
Why do we argue?
Why do we spend the money when we don't have it? Why do we worry ourselves sick?
Why do we do these things?
"We've got crossed wires in our brain. Most people do it, and they've got to learn how to uncross and rewire it. The reason we make these poor decisions are because of how our brain works".
"So we need a solution that works with the way that we think. We have to not only recognize the unhealthy habit, but we have to have the awareness and recognition of the things we're doing".
"We have to figure out an underlying problem, and then we're going to rewire it. If you want to win a war in your mind, you have to be willing to rewire your thought patterns and rewire your brain. We all know what it feels like to be in a rut. Thinking the same thoughts, doing the same things, experiencing the same problems, is like hopelessly entrenched on a muddy, rugged back road".
Your tires are dug in, and you're stuck in the mud. We all know what it feels like to be doing the same things. You want to get out of that rut, but you don't know how. It's now become comfortable, and you know how to do it because you've always done it.
But in order for you to get out of the rut, you have to have an awareness and an understanding.
It's going to be hard, and you're going to have to battle that old rut. It's going to take discipline and a choice every single day. But you can do it!
Rewiring Our Brains.
The author talked about the actual neural pathways in our brains. When you think about things over and over again, it becomes a natural thought process. It becomes your habits, good or bad, and then habits, become routine.
"Your brain is designed to look for patterns and create neuro pathological pathways, to help you keep thinking the things you keep thinking and doing the same things you keep doing".
So now you have an awareness that your brain does this...
I think this
I want to eat that
I want to feel comfortable because it's what I've always done.
I'm comfortable. I might not like it, but food brings me comfort. The laziness of watching TV brings me comfort. Scrolling on social media brings me comfort, and I feel good. It's already there, and I've done it over and over again. But you cannot get the results that you want, or hit the goals that you want to hit by doing that same thing.
So now you have an awareness of why you do what you do. It's easy! It's just like the tires dug into the mud in your brain.
"Thinking that thought or doing that thing again and again eventually becomes effortless. Remember, how great you got at explaining your favorite hobby, playing your favorite sport or game, the more often you do something, the easier it becomes. Unknowingly, you create these well-traveled neuro-pathways that made something easier than more difficult".
Some people say 21 days or 30 days, but the doctor that we're working with for Emery, said at least 60 days. I think we're on our 90th day of using her words, rephrasing her neural pathways of who she is, and not being afraid.
She basically quotes all of these different things that have been written down. She does certain things with her eyes, to retrain her brain, to not be afraid, to not be fearful, and to believe that she can do things. She's telling herself these things every single day.
You could do something as simple as getting up in the morning. If you read the book, The Miracle Morning, which I've talked about a lot here. It's all about getting up in the morning and owning your day. We talked about reading, journaling, sitting in silence, and just owning your morning for 6 minutes or 60 minutes.
We also talked about affirmations, and it's all about seeing yourself, and who you want to become. You could say, "I want to be healthy", "I want to be strong", "I want to lose weight", or "I want to feel better". But your choices have to come from an already healthy person.
So instead of going around the same rut of grabbing the same foods, you're going to need to have the discipline and the awareness. You will need to understand that it's going to be hard and it's going to take some time.
So when you're making choices, ask yourself "What would a healthy person do?"... If you skip the gym, you could tell yourself, "The healthy, strong, fit me, that I foresee in my future, would not skip the gym"...
The healthy, strong, fit "You" would pack your lunch. You would take the extra time to prep your meals on whatever day works for you. You would learn how to control your tongue and not yell at your spouse, because a supportive spouse would sit and listen. Sometimes, you just need to shut your mouth with your spouse or your kids.
A healthy, financially set, a free person wouldn't go to Target every day when they feel emotionally sad. They probably would take the shopping apps off their phones, or they could set a timer on their phones so they couldn't go and scroll or shop.
You've got to put some things in place to see yourself as if you've already done it.
What you do today is legitimately a tire driving in the mud where you already have those pathways done. But now you can restart your car, just like restarting your mind or your engine. And you're basically driving super solid ice. You have new systems and habits like going to the gym or making better food choices. It's new to prep your meals and say no to the donut.
The longer and more comfortable you get, the ice will start melting to create a new pathway, so you can dig your tires into that.
It takes time. It could take three months, you have January, February, and March before the ice starts to melt. Can you do something for 90 days or 120 days? Can you do something to create new good systems and habits or new ruts?
There's no such thing as an overnight success. You can't get to have it overnight. You didn't get here overnight, you're not going to get there overnight. You've created some not-so-great systems for a while, so you've got to recreate different systems now. And it's going to take discipline, time, and effort. It's going to take the power of saying "No". You're going to need a solid "Why", or a solid reason.
And you might slip up, or fall off the ice and land in your old rut, but you're going to have to get yourself out of the old rut, get back on the ice, and keep going. It's up to you!
There are things that I wish I could do for you. I wish I could just yank you out of that mud. But you have to do it yourself. I can only help bring awareness and suggestions to you.
"You were designed to smoothly, effortlessly create, and fall into habits. If you find yourself stuck in an unhealthy rut, there is some good news. You can recreate it and you can stop what you're doing".
What's great about this book is there are so many questions you can answer, and it's more like an activity book. You can write down the ruts that you feel you are in. The author said to write down the things that you want to do, and start speaking over yourself. You're going to start doing different exercises to help you on your journey.
You're going to have to visibly walk yourself through it.
You don't just fall into your goals.
You don't just get lucky and lose weight.
You don't just get lucky and get stronger.
You physically have to put your hands and mind to work.
Take some time and put in the work to get what you want to get it. It all takes time, a lot of effort, a lot of energy, and discipline. But if you switch a couple of things and do it for a year? You will become a completely different person.
So that's it! Have an awareness of the rut that you're stuck in, and decide which tires you want to change.
The book is called, "Winning The War In Your Mind", by Craig Groeschel. You can also go to ketomomsecrets.com and click on the Book Club. You can watch the older videos or you can tune in here until we're done.
You can always message me with questions, so please continue to tune into the page. Let me help you get started. I hope you have an incredible morning. You are worth it and worthy. You can do this! It just takes some mindfulness, awareness, asking for help, and following those who've already done it. That will help you go further faster.
I hope you guys have a great day, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye!
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